Ok so...im quite confused (anorexia nervosa)its long, you probebly wont read it but i spilled my guts so...?

Things are pretty hard for you right now but hang in there. You only have three years to go and you're 18. When you're 18, you can make any of those decisions. Sounds like your father is violent and your mother is absent. A lot of women are like that after living with a mean husband. You may see it as he's protecting you but being physical is wrong. Maybe your mom was abused by someone and your dad being violent frightened her. I had a messed up family and would just try to focus on friends and school. My friends were like my family should have been. I had an anorexia problem and turns out I was depressed. Also, I had self-esteem issues. Therapy really helps that. I contacted my county and they had a mental health facility that was free per visit based on income which was 0. With Thangsgiving coming up, make a gratitude list. Do this when you feel down, because it could always be worse. I am thankful for the roof over my head, food in my belly and people that I love and that love me.